The Four P's
On perfectionism, paralysis, and the six months it took me not to make one phone call.
Have you ever found yourself stuck?
I know I have. For instance, I have not called my kids’ godparents in months. Not because I do not love them. Because I could not make the call perfect in my head. It has been a while, so I start rehearsing in my head what I would say when they picked up. The longer I waited, the bigger that speech got, and the bigger the speech got, the longer I waited. Months and months of wasted time and thought. Over a phone call. If that sounds like a small thing, it is. That is exactly the point.
A coach once handed me the map of how that happens, and once you see it, you see it everywhere. He called it the Four P’s.
It starts with Pride. The ego gets involved, you want it to be impressive. Pride hands you to Perfectionism, now it has to be just right. But you cannot make it perfect, so you slide into Procrastination, you wait.
Here is the trap: the waiting feeds the perfectionism. Now that time has passed, the thing has to be even better to justify the wait, so your own mind keeps raising the bar. That doom loop drops you at the fourth P, Paralysis. Nothing ships. Nobody gets called. Nothing gets launched.
I have lived this in business more times than I want to admit. Sometimes that perfectionism drives real excellence, and I am grateful for that gear. But other times the thing just never leaves the building. The proposal that sat too long. The idea that never launched. The hard conversation I kept polishing in my head instead of just having.
SENECA
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
Here is what breaks the loop, and it is the exercise Tim Ferriss built a career on: name the worst case out loud. The godparents pick up, and the first ten seconds are a little awkward. That is the entire worst case. Now name the cost of NOT calling: six months become a year, and a friendship quietly fades. The action costs me thirty awkward seconds. The inaction costs me the relationship. Fear multiplies in your imagination and shrinks the moment you say it plainly.
Powerful Heart.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
2 Timothy 1:7
LET’S PLAY TO WIN
Let’s get after it in life, family, and business.
AND LET’S PLAY TO WIN!!!
Lots of love, Nate
